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by Erin Newton, LCPC When I was pregnant with my first child, I had a lot of feelings (as a lot of moms do). I was excited and nervous and a little scared. We read books and researched baby furniture and learned about how to put a carseat in our car. We took a birth […]
What happens when becoming a mom is not what you expected, at all?
At the end of May 2019, we wrapped up the first birth trauma therapy group here at Wellness & Co. For eight weeks, four mamas learned; developed relationships; processed through hurt, pain, abandonment, and anger; and worked on forgiving themselves for not making choices they might have made had they felt empowered to do so. It was a privilege for me to watch them work through their struggles together, especially as a survivor of birth trauma myself. It was amazing to watch a mother soften in her judgement of herself and also feel completely accepted by those around her, something that these women admitted to previously not feeling very often, if ever.
When I started seeing clients in Maryland five years ago I noticed that people often had the same comments or questions regarding the therapeutic process. They typically go something like this: “but you haven’t experienced [parenting] so you don’t really know what its like,” “you must have the perfect marriage,” “I didn’t want to come because people in therapy have real problems and ours isn’t a problem,” “I figured that if I came to therapy once a week something would change”
….these types of comments and more go on and on. In short, people think ALL sorts of things about therapy.
Do you ever feel like your relationship is stuck? Running on autopilot? Or completely thrown off course?
I get it, I really do. I want you to know that if you answered yes to any of those questions, you’re normal. Your relationship is totally, 100%, normal.
We all get stuck. We all let our relationships run on cruise control without the proper love and attention they need. And, we all let our partnerships run off course. All of us, even therapists.