By Rebecca Horch, BACYC, CPC

Remember the days when we’d get paid a couple of dollars an hour to babysit the neighbor’s kids? I was 12 when I started babysitting, and was getting paid in change and snacks I’d take from the cupboard after the kids fell asleep. These days, local babysitters have higher standards and parents are more cautious. These are not bad things. I have three children myself, and there is no way I’d go out until midnight, leaving them alone with a 12 year old I hardly know anything about. Nor should a young teenager give up their Friday night for mere pennies. 

Our kids deserve to be cared for by people we trust and who are getting paid a good wage. But that leaves us between a rock and a hard place, doesn’t it? If we’re paying upwards of $50-$75 for babysitting to go on a date with our partner, plus whatever the date out actually costs, that gets expensive fast! And sadly, not everyone has family or close friends nearby who are always able to watch their kids for free. 

I have been married for almost 16 years. We have 3 children and have gone through a few of our own seasons where frequent date nights out just weren’t an option for us. So we’ve had to get creative throughout the years in finding ways to connect while staying in! 

Here are 10 date night in ideas for the next time you can’t get a babysitter:

1. Order in your favorite takeout after the kids are in bed: Put on some music, light some candles, set the table, and pretend you’re at a restaurant.
2. Build a fort: Hear me out. This is such a fun activity to do as grown adults. Your childlike, playful side will show itself. And if you have a partner that’s anything like mine, it will become an engineering feat that will get left up for the kids to play with the following day. 
3. Double date at home: Just because you can’t find a babysitter, doesn’t mean your besties can’t. See if they can come to your place instead of meeting up with them somewhere else.  Connecting with friends is so important, and sometimes we have to be flexible on how to do that.
4. Dream together: Take the opportunity to plan your next vacation, or be intentional about setting bigger/grander goals for your life together. Write your dreams down and come back to it now and then to edit/add and to see where you’re at with your goals.
5. Have sexy time first: How many times do you plan to hang out, maybe watch a movie, thinking it’ll lead to a little sexy time in the bedroom later, only to crawl into bed and crash because it’s too late? Our intentions can be really great, but when we’re exhausted, sleep often takes priority. There is a simple solution to this – have sex first. After the kids are in bed, prioritize intimacy before you choose a movie, or finish binge-watching Yellowstone. Connecting this way will make cuddles on the couch later so much better anyway because you know you’ll get to crawl into bed – fulfilled, connected, and with no expectation or feelings of guilt. 
6. Buy a conversation card deck: There are many card decks out there that help spark fun conversations. Sometimes this is just an enjoyable way to mix it up and ask each other questions you normally wouldn’t think to ask.
7. Watch a comedy special instead of a movie: Laughing together is very connecting! Let those endorphins fly by mixing it up and choosing to watch a comedy special instead.
8. Get competitive: Have a cocktail/mocktail making competition, do an egg drop challenge, or see who can do more pushups. Whatever it is, have fun with it!
9. Do a workout together: Don’t have a home gym? That’s ok – find a yoga, dance, or HITT cardio class on YouTube. This can be such an entertaining and engaging way to connect. And bonus, once you’re finished and are both sufficiently sweaty, you can hop in the shower together 😉
10. Play “Dirty” board games: I personally hate board games. I know some people love them, and if you can connect over a board game then all the power to you! But what I can do is laugh till I cry by making a game more fun with dirty talk – dirty Bananagrams, Scrabble, Pictionary, charades…the options are endless. 

Get creative with these date night in ideas, or come up with your own! Just because you’re parents, and dating in the traditional way Is challenging, doesn’t mean it’s not possible. Most of these ideas take very little prep, and don’t cost a lot of money. What they do cost is your willingness to change your expectations of what dating “should” be. That is hard to do, but I promise, not as hard as feeling disconnected from your partner. Have fun!

Interested in taking this even deeper? Schedule a free consult with Rebecca here!