By Amanda Clegg, Relationship Coach, CNEP, CLC
Reading Time: 3 minutes, 30 seconds

The end of the year has a way of making us reflective. Everything often feels up for review, whether it’s our habits, our choices, or maybe even the person we thought we’d be by now.

Cue the goal-setting.

For some, this is exciting. For others, it comes with a familiar pressure to become “better”, quickly and without much grace.

What if we didn’t start there?

(Because one thing I’ve learned is that we cannot shame ourselves into change.)

Goals Are Helpful. Pressure Is Not.

Goals can be useful little targets. They help us aim. They remind us we’re moving somewhere on purpose. But goals set from urgency tend to sound impatient. They skip nuance. They ignore context. They rush the process. They pretend you’re not also a human who gets tired, overwhelmed, and occasionally wants to lie on the floor and stare at the ceiling (just me?).

Intentions soften the whole thing.

Intentions ask not just where you’re going, but how you want to feel while getting there.

A goal might say:
“Leave this version of me behind.”
“Outgrow my messiness.”
“Prove I can do better.”

An intention might quietly reply:
“Let’s move toward what feels sustainable.”
“Let’s stay connected, even when it’s hard.”
“Let’s grow without abandoning ourselves.”

When goals and intentions work together, change feels less like self-criticism and more like self-friendship.

Before You Decide, Listen

Before choosing what you want from 2026, pause.

Notice the part of you that’s hopeful and ready for something new. Notice the part that’s skeptical because it’s seen a few Januaries come and go. Notice what feels tired. Notice what still wants more.

When everything in you feels heard, even briefly, movement tends to happen with less pushing and pulling. One thing I’ll often share with my clients is that resistance isn’t laziness or unwillingness, it’s information. And it deserves to be handled with care and compassion.

Why a Single Word Can Be More Powerful Than a Whole List

This is where choosing a word for the year can be surprisingly grounding.

A word doesn’t nag you.

A word just waits. Patiently.

Words carry energy. They land in the body before they land in the mind.

Consider the difference between:

• Discipline and devotion
• Control and stability
• Productivity and presence
• Confidence and self-trust
  

One tightens the jaw. The other drops the shoulders. One braces. The other softens.

The right word feels like something you can lean into, even on days when existing feels exhausting.

Choosing Your Word for 2026

Set aside a few quiet minutes. No vision boards required. Pajamas and robes encouraged!

Ask yourself:

• What do I want more of? Not someday, but in my actual life now?
• What has felt rushed, shameful, or over-efforted?
• What kind of energy would support me when things go sideways?
  

Let a few words float up. Say them out loud. Notice your body’s reaction.

The right word often creates a subtle “Oh.” A small internal nod.

That’s the one.

Living the Word (Not Performing It)

Once you have your word, see how it wants to live with you.

How would your mornings change if this word set the tone?
How might your decisions be led with more clarity?
How would you speak to yourself on a day when nothing goes according to plan?

Place a hand on your chest or belly. Take a breath. Imagine breathing with this word, not toward it.

You don’t need to embody it perfectly. Some days you’ll forget entirely. Other days you’ll remember halfway through reacting to something and think, oh right, that’s what we’re doing this year.

Want support finding or embodying the one?

Let It Be a Compass, Not a Rulebook

Your word isn’t there to keep you in line. It’s there to help you find your way back. Back to yourself, to what matters, to the pace that actually fits your life.

When goals feel heavy in 2026, let your word guide the next small thing. One boundary. One honest pause. One kinder choice.

Growth doesn’t require force. It responds far better to listening, humor, and the occasional decision to not take yourself quite so seriously.

Let your word live in your body, not just your plans. When you forget, notice how it feels to remember again. There’s no rush. The year will unfold either way. You might as well meet it with a little more kindness!

Big love & gratitude,

Amanda

Amanda Clegg( CLC, M.NLP )

Amanda helps teens, individuals, and couples create secure relationships within themselves and with each other. Her favorite (and most impactful!) tool to use is the Enneagram, which deepens awareness, understanding, and compassion so that we all can continue to foster meaningful connections in our day to day lives, moment by moment.

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