By Ana Rogers, LGPC, NCC

READING TIME: 4 MINUTES

Hi friends! 

Let this blog be your survival guide to navigating accidental encounters with your therapist IRL. Because it does happen! 

And if it’s not yet happened, I might venture a guess that you’ve wondered what is supposed to happen, or even what you should or shouldn’t do. Are there any rules? Sort of. Well, for your therapist, anyway. 

Imagine this for a hot second.

You’re walking through the grocery store, minding your own business, when suddenly – bam! There they are. Your therapist. In a full sweat set, looking remarkably human. And probably holding a family-size bag of chips (kettle-cooked sour cream & onion is where it’s at. I don’t make the rules). 

There’s a split-second pause as worlds collide. Kind of like seeing one of your teachers in the wild for the first time in grade school and having the horrifying realization that they do not, in fact, live in their classroom. 

Do you say hi? Do you run? Do you pretend you didn’t just make painfully awkward eye contact over the frozen pizzas?

For us therapists, this moment is layered with ethical considerations, respect for (and honoring clients’ legal right to) confidentiality, and a genuine desire to do what’s in their best interest. For clients, it can bring up mixed feelings – curiosity, confusion, anxiety, or even relief if they spotted us first and were hoping to say hello. 

Our First Priority: Protecting Confidentiality 

One of the most important ethical responsibilities we have as therapists is to protect client confidentiality, even in the most unexpected of situations. This means that we won’t and don’t initiate interactions with clients in public, no matter how much we would love to say hi. 

We also recognize that clients might be out with loved ones who have no idea they’re active in therapy. We won’t take the first step to avoid putting them in an uncomfortable, vulnerable, or potentially unsafe situation. A casual and seemingly harmless, “Hey, how are you?” from their therapist could unintentionally out them in a way they’re unprepared for. For these reasons, many of us (including myself) will quietly turn around and remove ourselves from the immediate environment if we spot you first! 

When Clients Approach First

If a client waves, says hello, or engages in conversation first, we can absolutely follow their lead while maintaining professional boundaries. Saying hi or waving hello doesn’t mean we start unpacking trauma in aisle 6 or that I’m psychoanalyzing your grocery cart – I promise, I’m not! 

If a client does start jumping into therapy topics or things we’ve discussed in session, that’s when I might gently redirect and say something along the lines of: “I’m so glad to see you! Let’s save this for our next session so we can give it the time and attention it deserves.” 

Addressing It in Session 

It might be helpful to process the IRL encounter next time we see a client in session, especially if it felt super awkward or brought up confusing emotions. They might ask, “Did you see me at the coffee shop? I wasn’t sure if I should say hi…” 

Session time can be a great opportunity for me to check in with you about your level of comfortability with unplanned encounters and discuss any feelings that might have bubbled up! Especially if you saw me turn, book it the other way, and felt ignored. 

Your Therapist’s Perspective: We’re Human Too! 

As therapists, we also have our own reactions to these moments. We might feel a twinge of awkwardness, curiosity about how you’re doing, or even a sense of protectiveness (hence, turning around and booking it the other way)! Sometimes we might even feel like we’ve done something wrong by simply bumping into you and feel concerned about how you experienced the interaction. After all, we deeply care about the people we work with. 

We also acknowledge that outside the therapy room, our clients are simply living their lives, just as we are. 

It’s a truly unique dynamic – one that highlights the tricky balance between professional boundaries and the genuine human connection and care that therapeutic relationships foster! At the end of the day, my goal is always to ensure clients feel safe, respected, and in control of their therapeutic experiences – even in the cheese department. 

So, next time you see me out and about perusing books at Barnes & Noble or picking out my nightly sweet treat for the week at the grocery store, feel free to say hi. Or don’t – totally up to you! Just know that I won’t make the first move. 

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Looking for more individualized support and a therapist of your own to potentially awkwardly encounter IRL? Check out the Wellness & Co. team here. We’d love to connect with you!

Talk soon,

Ana