By Brittany Moffitt, LICSW

You may remember the saying “It takes a village to raise a child.”  When we imagine this concept of a ‘parenting village’, it can feel so very far from where we are today, particularly in a society that values individualism over collectivism.  A parenting village of multi-generations and extended family to help with child rearing may feel impossible to imagine right now, but what would it look like for you to cultivate an inner circle? An inner circle is those people who provide support to you throughout your motherhood journey. An inner circle is those specific relationships that help you flourish as a parent by providing practical, emotional, mental, and/or spiritual support. As humans, we are not meant to go through life alone. Building an inner circle means we are creating connections with others through openness, vulnerability, and believing that motherhood is not meant to be endured alone. 

Many of us have the ability to soar but have been crawling or have the ability to roar but have been whispering. The first step in this process is to believe you are meant to share the parenting load with others. To give yourself permission to reach for others.

“If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together.” —African Proverb

Considering an inner circle, there are two categories of people. First, list the names of the people who you feel are the closest to you. These are the relationships that feel safe to share your thoughts and feelings, and even though these relationships may have challenges, there is trust. 

Second, list the names of people or groups who help you thrive in motherhood. Jo Saxon calls it “Relationships that give you wings and help you soar into your potential.” From a motherhood perspective, these relationships provide practical and informational support.  Practical support could be someone who helps pick up your kids from the bus stop or helps to watch your kids. Informational support could be people you trust to give you solid parenting advice such as a pediatrician or wise family members. Mental support are the people who create opportunities for honest, authentic conversations and moments of fun. Ultimately, these relationships help you relieve the mental and physical load, so you can soar. 

As you begin to explore this concept of an ‘inner circle’ or a ‘modern-day parenting village’; I invite you to explore these questions: 

• What is your greatest area of need right now? 
• Do you ask for help and receive it when it’s offered? 
• Which relationships are helping you soar and which are in an unhealthy place right now?
• How would letting go of certain expectations or tasks change your life? 

Until next time,

Brittany

If you want to heal and grow in your motherhood journey, I can partner with you for one-on-one therapy support. The ups and downs of motherhood are real and working with a therapist trained in perinatal mental health can help! Simply CLICK to schedule your free consult with me to see if we’re a good fit!