by Dr. Kendra A. O’Hora, LCMFT

And the crowd goes wild, that THREE has done it again! They scored the game winning goal, delivered a powerful keynote speech, became the first woman ever in space, what can’t they achieve?!

Sound like someone you know? The pressure is on for our dear Three friends! They are all too familiar with achievement and all too familiar with being misunderstood. So, let’s dive in, shall we?

If you’re just tuning in, here’s the scoop: Each week at Wellness & Co. Amanda & Dylan will be hosting a panel for the Enneagram types, we’ve already wrapped up four types, phew (PS – if you cannot attend the panel live, you can still register and watch the webinar later on your own time)! You can register to watch the panels here – sign up for one or for all nine! 

THIS WEEK – TYPE THREE!

This style of learning and exploring the Enneagram is bound to give you new insights, new context to the nine types, and new pathways for growth from Type Structure to True Self! 

So, in that spirit – in honor of our panel series we’ll be sharing some thoughts from YOU.

We’ve compiled reflections from all over to shed some light on our dear friends, Type Three. Particularly, what’s it like being married to a Type Three and what it’s like being a Type Three Mama!

Threes are powerful people. They care so deeply about being seen and known and have been rewarded most of their life for their impact and accomplishments. So, naturally, they are high-achieving, image conscious, sensitive, and emotionally guarded. They can also be apathetic, supportive, introverted OR extroverted. Threes are uncanny at shifting to be whatever is needed from others in the moment. So, have you ever wonder how they size up in the loveeeee department? 

HERE’S WHAT OUR DEAR FRIENDS, FAMILY, AND WELLNESS & CO. COMMUNITY SAID ABOUT BEING PARTNERED WITH TYPE THREE!

• Being in a relationship with a type three: it takes a lot of patience and grace (lol). I’m learning to appreciate the things that he is passionate about, so that I can encourage and lift him up. The best part about being in a relationship with a Three is that he is passionate about loving me and always wants to show me off, sort of like I’m his greatest achievement!
• My partner is very neat and organized. She is very proactive and doesn’t procrastinate on tasks – sometime acts too quick.
• My Three is always looking to better herself and tries very hard when playing sports/competitive.
• My spouse recharges by being home and less social.
• My partner worries when she feels misunderstood and cares a good bit of how her intentions are perceived.
• My Type Three spouse values family.
• In general, a Three is an incredible person to share life, family and home with.
• My partner is always learning a new skill, always picking up a new hobby, constantly talking about absorbing new content from “this book” or “this documentary”, and truly believes that you can make anything possible by putting it on a board and willing it to happen. It is both inspiring and exhausting to be married to a Three!
• As achievement and recognition for achievement is top priority, at times, one can feel “less than” until he/she/the marriage is the achievement for which the Three is pursuing.
• My best travels and memories are with my Three because she can make the ordain feel marvelous.
• My Three’s heart is big and compassionate while her mind is inventive and quick to respond. There’s nothing a 3 can’t achieve when they are set on success!

Thank you to everyone who shared what it is like being partnered with a Type Three! Your words and insights are helping us continue to honor and understand the strengths and challenges of partnerships with the Enneagram Type Three!

Last but not least, Three’s are kicka** parents! They are go getters – keeping their children in all the activities, volunteering to do all the things, and putting their best foot forward the whole time. They are energetic and encouraging. Buttttt… due to this constant go-getter mentality their children can often experience the brunt of the burnout, especially when they are tired, feeling unappreciated, or unseen. Threes can simultaneously celebrate their children and diminish their emotional landscape. When focused on self-growth, Threes can be a model parent, offering up a beautiful example of how we can make the most of our parenting experience and be deeply connected to our children.

WANNA KNOW MORE? HERE’S WHAT OUR TYPE THREE MAMAS SHARED ABOUT THEIR MOTHERHOOD EXPERIENCE! 

• I felt it was my job as a mom to raise children that would be well rounded, successful, productive members of society. To be successful I needed to teach them kindness and to value humanity along with the importance of hard work and striving to succeed. I took my roll as cheerleader serious. I pushed my kids hard to be their best. Challenged them to think. I stressed to them that they achieve big and demanded quick recovery from setbacks. Motherhood has been my great achievement! I adore them, celebrate them, and still push them to be their best!
• The type Three personality is oriented towards achieving above anything else. They love the praise of others and seek that at all costs.
• One strength of a type Three mom is their ability to get so much done. They can simultaneously stroll their child, listen to a podcast, and walk the dog. They thrive on efficiency, so they are constantly doing as much as they can in the least amount of time for this fulfillment. The end result is that much is done in a day. This very strength easily turns into a weakness when this mom inevitably burns herself out. When so much is done so continually, the body crashes leaving mom frazzled and extra-emotional. For her to admit this and take that much-needed rest is near impossible. To do that means a severe lack of efficiency and a lack of proper care for the children. There is always something to be done: the house could be cleaned, a creative game could be thought up of, a fun outdoor activity could be had, and the list goes on. The type Three usually feels they must always be the best mom they can be at the expense of their finite energy.
• A type Three mother has the ability to be the mom their child wants them to be. Type Three personalities are especially good at picking up on what another person wants them to be, and then they naturally become that person. A child who has the parent who plays games with them all day is a happy child indeed! This ability to be what others want them to be could also be a weakness for type Three moms. Children need authentic parents, and a mom who becomes what their child wants them to be could be less than their authentic self. When the child is old enough to find their own identity, they are going to need a proper role model who also has held strong to their authentic selves. The type Three mom must fight the temptation to fit the mold and instead hold fast to who they truly are. This means they could make their child dislike their decisions and become upset with them. The ‘bad guy’ parent is essential in good parenting. A child follows their human nature, which oftentimes goes against values and beliefs. It is a parent’s job to be the bad guy and cause a brief period that their children dislike them so that the children learn valuable lessons.

Curious to know what it’s like being a Type Three? Tune in August 4th at 6pm when we explore the life and experiences of three Threes – ha!

If you’ve been loving our Enneagram panel series as much as we are you might be thinking about how you can use the Enneagram to continue enhancing yourself and your relationship!

Good news! …

We have Enneagram and relationship coaches here on staff at Wellness & Co. Check them out!

AND

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