by Dr. Kendra A. O’Hora, LCMFT

In just a few days Maryland is prepared to roll out Maryland Strong, which they call a roadmap to recovery.

I call it a recovery and release effort, if you know what I mean. Tomato, Tomahto.

Anyway, Marylanders, and many other states, will finally get a small taste of their routine back. If you read my post a few weeks ago I advocated that there is One Key Question to be asking your partner After the COVID-19 Quarantine. And, I even explored how that key question applied to my own marriage.

Today, I want to open that dialogue a bit further. If you’re following along, a family member or friend of mine, or a dear client I work with then you know I love depth, authenticity, and rawness.

I genuinely believe our relationships have been strained and tested during this season of crisis and that recovery is going to be an intentional process. If we’re going to be intentional then we need to set aside actually time to look within, process, heal, and grow together.

Are you with me?

And just a friendly reminder…intentionality is not the only key to relationship health post global pandemic. My hallmark recipe for all relationship health is: intentionality, empathy, and intimacy.

Curious to know more? I have a free guide with helpful tips and tricks to get you started!

Or, maybe you’re ready to skip the e-book and buy the whole dang thing. I don’t blame you! The Unstuck e-book is the ultimate workbook with over 50 pages of content and 80 questions for reflection that you can do at YOUR OWN PACE.

Here’s what someone recently said when they purchased the book:

I started reading your book and I am loving it!! …I loved that you called out going to your favorite frequent restaurant doesn’t count as a date night. I was like SNAP!…I am learning a lot. I was watching my conversation with [my spouse] and noticed how much it was focused on kids and work. So, I picked a topic of interest and it was fun. I thought Kendra is a flipping genius! Love it!!

Genius feels a bit generous but hey, I’ll take it.

Here’s the deal – Unstuck helps you reset your relationship, learn new skills, dig deeper, and thoughtfully connect with your spouse. What better time is there than after a global pandemic?

But you can start digging deeper today. Right now…by continuing to read this post and invest in your bond.

Here’s what I have for you today…five journal prompts for you and your partner to complete separately and then dialogue about together. And, I’ve created a download (see below) for you to print or open on your phone to guide the journaling and reflection process.

Five Journal Prompts

1. What was my biggest fear when the COVID-19 crisis began? How has that fear shifted over these last two months?
2. What was my biggest stressor in these last two months? How did I meet the stressor in myself? How did others meet the stressor?
3. What growth edges did this season expose for me? [A growth edge is an area of your life that needs noticed, explored, refined, and/or healed].
4. In moments of instability, what stabilized me, offered me solid ground, or provided me comfort?
5. What feels most important for me to hold onto as I readjust to a new normal during Phase One of Quarantine release and beyond?

You know your relationship and the best way to move forward with this exercise. I offer some gentle suggestions in the download but trust yourself and how you want to move forward. It’s OK to sit down and knock it all out in one evening, it’s OK to do one question per day, it’s OK to do one per week.

The goal here is to connect, explore, honor, and align.

In grad school I had a professor describe relational attunement like an old car radio. The kind where you had to gently turn the dial just right to land on a station and not static. And boy were you happy when you did! You adjusted the knob just right to hear a favorite song or avoid that obnoxious crackling in your ear. And yet, just miles down the road, you’d have to readjust as you entered into a new area with new stations.

What a perfect picture of what tuning in looks like in our romantic partnerships.

We have to adjust, we have to attune, we have to subtly and intentionally go back to the dial time and time again to make sure we’re hearing one another and connecting just right.

Friends, we’ve been hearing static for quite some time. The COVID-19 pandemic has us rattled and out of tune like never before.

But between the crisis, the madness, the hysteria, the job loss, the grief, the hoarding, the tears, the stress, the loss of hugs, the static, the everything…

there were brief moments where the tune was a beautiful note.

A note that is worth exploring, loving, and honoring for weeks, months, and years to come.

Cheers!

Kendra O'Hora( PhD, LCMFT )

Dr. K started Wellness & Co. with the desire to provide top-notch therapy to our local community. Now, Wellness & Co., has therapists, coaches, tutors, and professional organizers – all to provide wrap-around, boutique style care to our clients. Dr. K specializes in couples therapy, healing from infidelity, and supporting individuals through relational transitions.